i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
