you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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