See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
