your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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