I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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