im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
