Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I need to calm my uterus...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize