some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
