Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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