We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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