Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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