using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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