Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
