Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
