There r osticjed everywhere
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
