hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
