..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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