Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
