Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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