Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
