apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize