Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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