No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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