We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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