i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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