we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
