He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
