Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
