An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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