i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
