i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I have fence marks all over my body
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
