so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
