I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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