Just cropdusted the office
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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