I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
