is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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