She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Every concussion has its silver lining
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
