ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
