worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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