Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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