I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
