I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
