is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
someone owes me an orgasm
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
