I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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