Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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