20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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