the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
