But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize