"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
