I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
