what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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