Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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