So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
