If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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