i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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