Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
