So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
