All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
