I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
