She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
