I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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