who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
whose parrot is this?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
