sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
