The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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