I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
