Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
