Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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