I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
