Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm really busy with my period
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