i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
